Your Trauma is Not Anyone Else's Responsibility

and making it so is akin to getting mad at someone for what they did in a dream

I woke up irritated. While I won’t discuss what ignited this, I would love to say for anyone who needs to hear it: your trauma, while not your fault, is not anyone’s responsibility to heal but your own. Things in life will bring these issue up, trigger you to make you feel small, but the cause of such(when not the original source, nor intentional action to trigger you) is not at fault for your trauma response.

It is yours to unpack. It is yours to heal from. Loving people around you can support you through your meltdowns, encourage your healing process, and be a listening ear. You cannot expect them to know your triggers if they haven’t been communicated. You cannot blame them for unintentionally setting you off. You are free to be upset if it happens. You are free to let them know. You are free to ask for an apology, even. But attributing the incident to their overall character when they have absolutely no clue what’s going on in your mind is unacceptable. And no one should accept being held to such impossible, unfair, and usually unspoken expectations. It’s completely irrational and that energy should be purged from your life without hesitation or regret.

I’m hoping my time on Substack hasn’t ended before it even began because the person who dragged me here and I are no longer affiliated. I’m going to keep writing, because it’s good for me. But this whole page is coming down at the first sign of drama I have no desire to participate in, and I’m aware this person has previously used his platform to talk about people he had problems with. I am also aware that I’m doing no differently with this post, but I wanted to give forewarning to a potential ghosting from me.

These first two posts have admittedly not been the vibe I wanted this page to take on. I promise I have more than gripes and depression to write about and I look forward to jumping into all of that in the coming weeks. The idea came to me to start a series about music that really resonates with me and why, so stay tuned for that. Until then, y’all be well and have a lovely holiday.