I deleted all of my drafts
I didn’t even read any of them. Just erased all of the old. If I don’t get out a full idea in one sitting, fuck it. I’m not saving it for later. I’m a completely different person by the time I get back to finish it. Not a single clue what I was talking about.
I’m not sure if I envy those who are able to put down a thought and complete it later… I don’t think I do, it’s just another way to be. And it’s not my way to be, so I release it. I’m stepping into all of my weird one facet at a time, and it’s been an interesting journey.
I don’t do this as some empowerment movement…at least not yet? The driving force is simply exhaustion. I’m too tired to try and fit in. My experience needs to fit in with ME so I can maintain. Saying ‘no’ is fun. I wish I knew sooner.
I understand this well. I'm the same way, if I don't finish a thought as I'm writing, I'm unlikely to be able to wring my mind back to the state I was in that led me to write it in the first place, which is why most of the things I publish have a lifetime from inception to publication of a few hours.